There was a time when i never understood why i was constantly being told not to do things and even to do certain things. A flood of directions for every step that i took, for every thought that i nursed. It was irritating and constraining. The only direction that i could look at was up and i wasn’t very happy being the only person being looked down on. From those days itself i had one thing clear in my mind... i am gonna search for my freedom. I made mental notes for my definition of freedom.
To do what i like ONLY
The only person i reason to is myself
I take full responsibility of my actions - consequences being good or bad
Run in the opposite direction at the slightest clue of dominance
Stay on my own (very imp)
Learn about life the way i choose to
Try everything at least once (everything meaning Everything)
Well, staying alone didnt happen then, but the rebellion definitely crept in. Then started the time which i would like to call as experimentation.... i wanted everything. Anything new and different i wanted to know it... i believe i got to know a lot of things that way.
Everything was fine. I was doing all that i ever wanted. Perfect... not quite it. But as u always know... when in that moment one never knows what is missing. It is always on the hind thought that one realizes what went wrong. Today when i look back (not that far back really) i see the missing chords. I had all what i wanted. Infact i have. Then what was missing? Freedom i guess...
What is freedom? It is everything that I mentioned above and much more. Freedom is not the wind under ur arms on board titanic. That is good weather. It is not just your holistic thoughts thrown all over the place. That is arrogance. Freedom is not the capacity to be alone whenever you wish to. That is basic hygiene space. For me freedom is so much different now. It is all in your head.
For me all that I have ever asked for has come with a price tag attached to it. And my pursuit for freedom too was no exception. But as they say one needs to decide what all in life is worth paying that price. I have made my decisions in the due course. And what I realize is that freedom is not a moment from whereon you change your way of dealing with this world. It is more of a continuous realization that a lot many things are under your control and an equal many outta ur control.
Freedom is gonna be an everyday battle. That is infact what makes it so special. But what I do believe I have come face to face is a tad bit of maturity to understand my freedom a little bit better. I am free and have always been so. And this realization came when I stopped running behind my freedom.
To do what i like ONLY
The only person i reason to is myself
I take full responsibility of my actions - consequences being good or bad
Run in the opposite direction at the slightest clue of dominance
Stay on my own (very imp)
Learn about life the way i choose to
Try everything at least once (everything meaning Everything)
Well, staying alone didnt happen then, but the rebellion definitely crept in. Then started the time which i would like to call as experimentation.... i wanted everything. Anything new and different i wanted to know it... i believe i got to know a lot of things that way.
Everything was fine. I was doing all that i ever wanted. Perfect... not quite it. But as u always know... when in that moment one never knows what is missing. It is always on the hind thought that one realizes what went wrong. Today when i look back (not that far back really) i see the missing chords. I had all what i wanted. Infact i have. Then what was missing? Freedom i guess...
What is freedom? It is everything that I mentioned above and much more. Freedom is not the wind under ur arms on board titanic. That is good weather. It is not just your holistic thoughts thrown all over the place. That is arrogance. Freedom is not the capacity to be alone whenever you wish to. That is basic hygiene space. For me freedom is so much different now. It is all in your head.
For me all that I have ever asked for has come with a price tag attached to it. And my pursuit for freedom too was no exception. But as they say one needs to decide what all in life is worth paying that price. I have made my decisions in the due course. And what I realize is that freedom is not a moment from whereon you change your way of dealing with this world. It is more of a continuous realization that a lot many things are under your control and an equal many outta ur control.
Freedom is gonna be an everyday battle. That is infact what makes it so special. But what I do believe I have come face to face is a tad bit of maturity to understand my freedom a little bit better. I am free and have always been so. And this realization came when I stopped running behind my freedom.
.jpg)
1 comment:
Retaining your freedom isn't easy... it's a path riven with trials and tribulations...
what takes you through is the passion and ecstacy that you feel being true to yourself right through!
even pain circumvents you :-)
Post a Comment