Women Drivers...

Now that I drive... though only since a short time, I can and I will comment on the different types of drivers on the roads of Mumbai city. There are two types of people in this world and so are there two types of drivers – Men and Women...Initially (when I did not drive) I hated women drivers myself. I believed they are a misfit in cars and on roads and that when I am behind the wheel, I will change the story. So now that I am behind the wheel, I understand what really goes in the minds of the women who drive. Below are just a few happenings and my justifications for the same.

1) Her car speed will either be below 40 or above 80. Nothing in between. To top it she will never let you over take her either. And if you try to she will give you a look that says... bloody lecherous rash driver. Just can’t let a ‘women’ drive in peace.

Justification: We are safe drivers that’s why the speed of below 40. And as far as the speed of 80 goes that is for the runways only (runways for us are the 1 feet space between our car and the front car at the traffic signal). The fact is we never bother whether someone over takes us or not. It's just that when your car increases its speed, it gets us disoriented and we feel you are trying to show off your driving skills and put us down. Now that is something that we don’t like.

2) Honking is her birth right. If u hear a very noisy car from a distance know that the wheel is ruled by a lady.

Justification: We know (though we will never accept) that our driving sucks, big-time! We care for your safety so we honk well in advance so you have your time to flee the road and be safe.

3) If you are moving in from the side, she will not slow down, ever. You will have to break and wait for your brother to give you some space to join in. What would she have lost if she would have just slowed down a little?

Justification: Well, She never really knew you wanted to move in. She didn’t see you either. If she would have seen you she would have surely slowed. The key word being ‘if’. And to make sure she sees you in a light traffic road, you better be listening to Abhishek’s interview on radio with full volume, or use her technique of honking like a madman or use a bolder method of passing a sleazy comment and then get her attention to you.

4) Why can't they never park properly? It is always parked such that 3 other cars will not be able to move without her car moving first.

Justification: Reversing and forwarding is a pain and also very time consuming. When we have to shop, every minute counts and every minute wasted on parking the car properly leads to lesser minutes to devote to criticising our girlfriends new buys. By the way, who told you we know to park and any which ways, how long are we gone, not more than 4-5 hours. That much anyone can wait!

All in all we women are patient drivers with firm belief in our driving skills. We will never land up killing anyone (coz we never drive at higher speeds. Even if we bump someone he might just fall on the road, get up, curse and move away). We are high nosed and that’s the reason why most of us are unable to see the cars moving in from the sides (try holding your nose up high and then looking around and you will understand what I am saying).

And the best part, women drivers confuse each other too. The other day when I was driving, this car from behind was honking like crazy. That car was in the other lane slightly behind mine. A slight turn of my car n there the cars horn went. I slowed thinking it might want to move ahead but even that car slowed. By the end of it I was so irritated I just slowed and further slowed so that car could go ahead which it eventually did. And yes that was a women driver!

From this post you must have concluded that I am anything but a feminist. Well I don’t know what I am. Still trying to figure that out. All I can say is that I believe

I don’t know if women are better than men, but what I do know is that women are no worse.